Funny Relationship Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous  funny relationship quotes, funny relationship sayings, and funny relationship proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

Cute Funny Relationship Quotes

• Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are. Will Ferrell
• My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met. Rodney Dangerfield
• Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with? Rita Rudner
• Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache. Mae West
• Love is a two-way street constantly under construction. Carroll Bryant
• Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one. Benjamin Franklin
• I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. Steven Wright
• Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? Groucho Marx
• Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. Albert Einstein
• I don’t see how being married could be any worse than listening to you talk for twenty years, but that still ain’t much of a recommendation for it. Larry McMurtry
• I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. Groucho Marx
• Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. Frederick Ryde
• Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing. Natasha Leggero
• An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her. Agatha Christie
• Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. Laurence J Peter
• The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders. Linda Festa
• Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in. Richard Jeni
• I can’t make you love me. But I can fill my pantry with your favorite snacks and offer you a weekly stipend of $75. Rob Delaney
• Relationships are hard. It’s like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks’ notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp. Bob Ettinger
• It’s no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn’t even speak to each other if they met at a party. Nick Hornby
• Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. Helen Rowland
• The only true love is love at first sight; second sight dispels it. Israel Zangwill
• My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.Emo Philips
• True love is singing karaoke Under Pressure and letting the other person sing the Freddie Mercury part. Mindy Kaling
• If you text I love you to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back. Chelsea Peretti

Also Read: Useful Healthy Relationship Quotes

Funny Relationship Quotes For Him

Every man loves a good play on words or comparison measure. Let him know just how strong your feelings are by comparing it to something he’ll find funny and relevant. Putting your emotions into words can be difficult. Give him a visual he won’t soon forget when you show how he makes you feel.

• I love you like a nerd loves his bow tie.
• Your love is like a drug -the legal ones that take away illness or pain, not the ones that kill people!
• I love you like a biker loves his Harley.
• Our love is better than Tiger Woods on a putt putt course.
• I love you like scotch loves rocks.
• Loving you makes me hot like sriracha on ghost peppers!
• I love you like a quarterback loves a pump fake.
• Our love is stronger than Gorilla Glue.
• I love you like Jimmy Hendrix loves guitars.
• Falling in love with you sure beats the other falls I had today!
• You’re basically the cutest thing I’ve ever loved, after my kitten.
• What’s more adorable than a baby panda snuggling a baby chick? Our love.
• If our love were a triangle, it’d be a-cute one!
• If you checked with your doctor, I bet he’d say you’ve got a bad case of being loveable.
• You’re adorable because I’m able to adore you.
• Thank goodness my heart has four parts, otherwise I don’t know where I’d keep all my love for you!
• You have the key to my heart, please don’t make any copies!
• My heart skips a beat when I see others in love, but it gallops when I think of you.
• I wore my heart on my sleeve, so you took it; you can keep the heart, but can I have my sleeve back?
• Thanks for always seeing that the fullness of my heart far outweighs the fullness of my bra.
• If you turn a heart upside-down, it looks like conjoined twin raindrops; that’s how I feel when I’m with you.
• Money can’t buy me happiness, but loving you can!
• Your hugs trap me like a fly in a window.
• Love makes people do silly things. For instance, it made me send you this message!
• You’re so cute Gerber called, they want you as their next spokesperson!
• You must be made of Iodine, Livermorium, and Uranium because I Lv U!
• You’ve got everything I’ll ever need: strong arms, a loving heart, and a freezer full of ice cream!
• I used to be addicted to coffee, now I’m addicted to you!

Funny Love Quotes Movies

Best  funny love quotes movies will make you laugh totally…..

• “Nice boys don’t kiss like that.” “Oh yes they fucking do.” – Bridget Jones’s Diar
• “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” – When Harry Met Sally
• “Why would you want to marry me for, anyhow?” “So I can kiss you anytime I want.” – Sweet Home Alabama
• “I’ve come here with no expectations, only to profess, now that I am at liberty to do so, that my heart is, and always will be, yours.” – Sense and Sensibility
• “You’re late.” “You’re stunning.” “You’re forgiven.” – Pretty Woman
• “If you’re a bird, I’m a bird.” – The Notebook
• “I like you very much. Just as you are.” – Bridget Jones’s Diary
• “As you wish.” – The Princess Bride
• “I’d rather fight with you than make love with anyone else.” – The Wedding Date
• “You had me at hello.” – Jerry Maguire
• “I hate the way you talk to me and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much that it makes me sick….” – 10 Things I Hate About You
• “I’m the exception…” “You are *my* exception.” – He’s Just Not That Into You
• “Me? I’m scared of everything. I’m scared of what I saw, I’m scared of what I did, of who I am, and most of all I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I’m with you.” – Dirty Dancing
• “Where to miss?” “To the stars.” – Titanic
• “Michael, I love you. I’ve loved you for nine years. I’ve just been too arrogant and scared to realize it, and, well, now, I’m just scared, so – I-I-I realize this comes at a very inopportune time, but I really have this gigantic favour to ask of you. Choose me. M-marry me. Let me make you happy. Oh, that sounds like three favours, doesn’t it?” – My Best Friend’s Wedding
• “You complete me.” – Jerry Maguire
• “I wanna marry you because you’re the first person I wanna look at when I wake up in the morning, and the only one I wanna kiss goodnight. Because the first time that I saw these hands, I couldn’t imagine not being able to hold them.” – Definitely, Maybe
• “I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly.” – You’ve Got Mail
• “Nobody puts baby in the corner.” – Dirty Dancing
• “You don’t even know me.” “I have the rest of my life to find out.” – Big Fish
• “I think I’d miss you even if we’d never met.” – The Wedding Date
• “Can you move?” “Only my lips.” – Letters to Juliet
• It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you. – The Fault In Our Stars
• It’s like at that moment the whole universe existed just to bring us together. –Serendipity
• She makes the bass drop in my heart. – The Good Place

Also Read: Respect In Relationship Quotes

Funny Love Quotes Short

January will come and pass and February will be here in no time! It’s that time of the year where people love more, smile more, and well – flirt more. We need all the reasons to smile and love people back with earnest hearts.. Find some of your favorite quotes here and send them to whoever needs them.

• Love is sharing your popcorn. –Charles Schultz
• Romance is the icing, but love is the cake. Unknown
• One cricket said to another – come, let us be ridiculous, and say, love!  -Conrad Aiken
• Romantic love is a mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. – Fran Lebowitz
• Don’t make love by the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbors ain’t. Unknown
• Marriage is like pantyhose. It all depends on what you put into it. – Phyllis Schlafly
• Love is telling someone that his zipper is open or her wig looks too fake. Unknown
• Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you. —Megan Mullally
• Love is a two-way street constantly under construction. – Carroll Bryant
• It is not loved that makes a relationship complicated; it’s the people in it who do. Unknown
• I vow to never wear a flannel nightgown if you vow to never do a comb-over. Unknown
• What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds. – Cindy Garner
• If your significant other is mad at you put a cape on them and say “Now you’re super mad!”. If they laugh, marry them. Unknown
• According to Newton’s Law of love, love can neither be created nor destroyed. However, it can create a girlfriend who can destroy wallets. Unknown
• You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. –Dr. Seuss
• Will you lend me a kiss? I promise to give it back. Unknown
• Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. – Albert Einstein
• I don’t care how many people are in this world, I want you! End of story. Unknown
• Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe. So basically a clown ninja. Unknown
• You can’t shine like a diamond if you are not willing to get cut like a diamond! – Eric Thomas
• A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. – Charles Gordy
• There are three ways in life to become popular: be rich, be beautiful, or be funny. –John Macks, 
• I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. – Woody Allen
• Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. – Jackie Mason
• Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings. – David Sedaris

Also Read; Striking Abusive Relationship Quotes

Funny Love You Quotes

It’s easy to get sentimental about love. It triggers so many passionate emotions. But love can also be funny and awkward. Below you’ll find a collection of humorous and funny love quotes.

• A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished. Zsa Zsa Gabor
• An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. Agatha Christie
• Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. Joan Crawford
• Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.George Burns
• Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. Fran Lebowitz
• A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.Tim Allen
• Love is a two-way street constantly under construction. Carroll Bryant
• I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it? Jean Illsley Clarke
• True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen. Francois de la Rochefoucauld
• Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener Pauline Thomason
• Love doesn’t drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator. Helen Gurley Brown
• I had a dream that i still loved you…I think I woke up screaming. Christine
• It wasn’t love at first sight. It took a full five minutes. Lucille Ball
• I love you so much I’d fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu… But a care bear, I’d definitely fight a care bear for you. Anonymous
• I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. Steven Wright
• Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. Albert Einstein
• Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses. Thomas Dewar
• I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it. Elizabeth Evans
• All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. Charles M. Schulz
• Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery. Fulton J. Sheen
• If you love ’em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love ’em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love. Miles Davis
• You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale. Hussein Nishah
• In any perfect relationship men should remember it’s a matter of direction; she takes what’s right and you take what’s left. Solitaire Parke
• Love is not having to hold in your farts anymore. Bree Luckey
• My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met. Rodney Dangerfield

Keep your relationship happy and interesting when you send the guy you like a funny quote. Cute funny relationship quotes at every stage can incorporate humor and special messages to help the relationship feel fresh and grow. Whatever you say, make sure it comes from the heart and sounds like something personal.

You can also read Relationship Loyalty Quotes